So my intention was to create a book showing what I am afraid of when documenting my figures I have created out in the world with the use of photography mostly, but now since making this a coupled of months a go I have now been experimenting with animation as well as still photography what is out of comfort zone and theirs because I made them I can choose they are exposed too and what is in my comfort zone and theirs which is exciting positive.

To help me understand myself better and others to give them more of an insight into my thoughts because I think its important that I can communicate my work to people in a easy way and to people who don’t even know me in order for them to fairly decide weather they like it or hate it, I think they need to understand it first. Personally this helps me when looking at work if I can understand it and get what its about then I can judge it on the basis if I like it or not.

I chose to use a concertina designed sketchbook because there are two sides to it and the pages are zigzag shaped when you open the book they pop out in this way which  and I find this very interactively engaging to use its not your typical plain sketchbook its something special and different and I had used one before and loved it.

I hope others do too when they see this book is not completely flat its packed wity some sculptural collage in there which excites me, I would not have wanted a complete flat 2D book for me I always need some element of 3d it may not be much but being a 3D sculpture based fine art student on a fine art degree course I crave 3D I am obsessed with it.

So I made one side the positive and the other the negative side I started of with the positive side which of course was just so fun and exciting to do using so much red imagery I had traced then photocopied.

Using the photos I took in a photo booth in Brighton earlier this year too alongside this little map I picked up and my figures imagery of them built on to each other layering up to show a connections and almost the interpretation I had taken my figures to Brighton which hasn’t happened yet, but I do really want to photographs them there specially on a sunny day on a Saturday when its busy but then it would het hard to take photos then.

I just some how yeah got Brighton so involved with them I think from going there a few times now it somewhere I feel safe and comfortable to have them exposed to in this way.

The Negative side was a bit more complex and tricky because its about my insecurities and that’s something I don’t want to dwell on about a lot because its not very uplifting but in order to get peoples attention with my work I have respond and show parts of myself which isn’t always exciting to be honest and truthful to the world.

I wrote down thoughts of what I find uncomfortable when I am out taking photos of my figures and where I go in my crazy usual way of writing which I did in fact do for the positive side too but writing about happy thoughts.

This helped me get into a zone of my insecurities and I was able to get so many pages done for this negative side of the book because without being in the zone I may have not being so inspired to want to do the negative side.

Some of the work I did involved me cutting into the pages so it wasn’t all lovely and clean anymore creating destruction and chaos which is apart of me and my work  but this was in a negative way because I was just letting everything I would normally do and was toying to be different version me. I think this worked a bit it became almost therapeutic.

I made photocopies of myself black tinted so you could barley see my face and the imagery of my figures so there was no red at all showing and normally I show so much red so I was trying to be brave and show this dark side.

One of my pages showed me writing the words Topshop the big one in London in Oxford Street I find hard to go in because it is so packed full of people it worries me and I get unsure about myself in there I just would want to leave and this is somewhere I would find uncomfortable to take my figures to photograph because I would need space and there isn’t spare space to use. So I wanted to document this in my book.

This again shows worry, expression and destruction my thoughts in a simplistic piece of collage art.

I loved making it overall and I hope people understand me and my work better I feel so proud of it all of it is personal in my crazy style red obsessed mostly its something I will think about and think this was a exciting thing to make,but also challenging a bit.

Its important it did challenge me in parts because it would have been very easy to just create book on what I love and my positive exciting thoughts to with my figures where I like to take them but its harder to one which shows the insecurities too which after speaking to Jane a tutor of mine about it which she said try this out I feel I have completed that challenge in my own abstract collage visual way.

Below are some photos of the different pages from the two sides of the book.