24.2.16

Speaking to Jane was really good she was able to explain more so what I need to do work on for this module and we talked about the fact I did get a higher mark in my support module which was the case last year. I felt better after speaking to her because I wanted to tell her about my plans to screen print using theses images of tracing and photos I got taken of myself in a photo booth in Brighton layering them yup with a photo of my figures from London to create a background base for my won map I am wanting to create so each time I take them somewhere I can document it on my map.

She liked it and was interested in the fact I had theses photos of myself which I had blown up on the photocopier she said you look so different them there not like you maybe because I am not happy in all four of them sadly to my annoyance and the background of the original photo collection is black and white so that also creates a less modern update look to them.

I wasn’t happy that one is showing me looking miserable or just plain moody because I wasn’t feeling that way at the time it was something fun and exciting to do even more so if my mum had joined in with me but she didn’t it’s something you do with friends and I would love to go back again with friends.

I spoke to Jane about this how I don’t like to show I am upset or stressed in photos and like to appear at uni happy so which means I just stress out at home, but that’s a false persona I am giving off why should I be afraid to stress out and be nervous at uni sometimes I am normally when I go to my meetings with Jo Harding on a Thursday I tell her what’s worrying me which is normally my work the essays evaluations critical Appraisals.

Especially when I am in the studio I like to be positive and happy because everyone has their own thing going on and I know they would understand if I was stressed like when I got told about me possibly having to go part time by mick I spoke instantly straight away to Abbie because I was worried about it and needed to speak to a friend and she was around in the studio drawing.

 But stupid and I am just going have to be less worried about being worried and stressed in the studio uni it’s not bad thing  I have just made it out to be in my head.

Jane suggested in my feedback I got saying I should at some point photograph my figures really professionally in the one of the studios in the photography block which I think is a great idea it will transform the quality of them and from that I can maybe get some prints done in the Mack area which would be perfect for a portfolio.

Theory is also something I find really hard and mentioned to Jane about she suggested I look at phycology theory because what with my worries and stresses to do with my anxiety it links to it so I might try to research some theory in that. I also got recommended to read the book I had read quite a few years ago about which there is a play about and Jane saw The Curious Incident of The Dog In the Night time based on a boy with Asperger’s like me who favourite colour is red Jane reminded me because I had forgotten .

 I will do that because it’s in the house mum bought it and might help me better with my understanding of this part of my work which is a new direction for me.

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